Friday, December 30, 2011

Holiday Time..

Hi everyone..very sorry for the lack of posts lately. I was having a holiday to Bali from Monday and just got back here in town yesterday. So tired but so happy and refreshing. My husband and I didn't get a chance to do our honeymoon after the wedding but this time we got a little spare time to do our late honeymoon which we called "babymoon" since I'm now 6 months pregnant =)Here are some of our pictures. More pictures will come later...


Friday, December 23, 2011

2012 Calendar

These are some of the amazing images of Maybeline 2012 Calendar. Seeing really great fashion photography is really something for me. It's like a refreshing for my mind. Look at the images below, don't you think it's all amazing? I am loving every single image of the calendar...Have a great weekend everyone =)

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Visual DNA

Wow, I have just found the greatest, the best test/quiz ever. It's called Visual DNA. It's a test to know what type of person are you. You don't have to read long sentences and questions. Since it's called Visual DNA test, all you need to do is click the right image that's appropriate to your answer. I've done it three times and the result is still the same. The result said that I'm A Striver. Here are some of the point of my result and below you can see some of the screen capture. I recommend to try it now =) Click HERE to take your test.


Spirit:
You're a Striver. Ambitious and focused, you like to push yourself and enjoy expanding your horizons. You have impressive levels of motivation and can be very hardworking! You have tons of infectious energy and lots of natural enthusiasm.

Relationship:
You've got a playful streak. For you, being in love is about having fun and enjoying life. Sharing lots of laughs is the best way to keep things fresh. As a Warm Heart, you're very down-to-earth when it comes to love.

Health:
You burst into life in the mornings like a rocket. There's so much to get done and you have the energy to do it. You believe in a balanced approach to living a healthy lifestyle.

Home:
Ever stopped to dream about your perfect life, even for a bit? Thought so! In fact, your grounded nature suggests your dream life isn't too far out of reach. You're not fantasizing about exotic villas or huge mansions - you'd probably be more comfortable in a beautiful house in the suburbs.

Style:
You're so laid-back, you're almost horizontal! You like to take life as it comes and enjoy all it has to offer. Your practical style reflects your down-to-earth, relaxed attitude.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Thoughts...Words..

This quote can be a guide to our life. When people say "look before you leap", the quote below applies to the thought. Life for me is like a chain or maybe a connecting dots. What you did in the past can really become what you are today and what you will become later. Don't you think so?

Beware of your thoughts, they become your words.
Beware of your words, they become your actions.
Beware of your actions, they become your habits.
Beware of your habits, they become your character.
Beware of your character, it becomes your destiny.
- Unknown

Monday, December 19, 2011

Avocado..



Oh My God..do you see the image above? Looks so heavenly! It's an Avocado Slushie from To Food With Love. It's so easy to make, I'm gonna try one this afternoon. I'm really sure it can give me a mood booster for Monday =) Here's the recipe.

Ingredients

1 large avocado
3/4 cup cold fresh milk
3 tbsp caster sugar
About 1 cup ice cubes
Mint for garnish (optional)

Method

  • Cut the avocado in half and discard the seed.
  • Scoop out the avocado flesh and place in a blender (or using a stick blender together with the rest of the ingredients.
  • Blend until smooth and pour into glasses.
  • Garnish with mint and serve immediately.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Daily Schedule..

I found this nice "daily schedule" that can be used by all of us =) A cute nice schedule. You might probably know or notice that I appreciate simple stuff that can actually make life seems worthwhile and meaningful. The list on the schedule is one of those list with simple things to do but yet, it can give a more meaningful life for us...Hope you like it.

(image source: fixedpublishing.com)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Sexy Eyes..

December is usually a month full of party and gathering, don't you think so? It's everyone's holiday month and a time for relaxing and just enjoying ourselves to close this year and entering a fresh new year. Here's one thing you can do while you're at home thinking about the best make up for every occasion. Make up can be a hard thing to do by yourself but trust me, practice makes perfect =) This is a step by step way to do a smoky sexy eyes...perfect for new year's eve party...

(image source: pinterest)

Friday, December 9, 2011

IKEA Inspired Home..

IKEA, a single word that can make my heart pops =) I love IKEA, although my husband is not a fan of IKEA. He's ore into classic vintage decor. But I do love IKEA. The big furniture and also the small decor stuff. Here's an inspiring house located in Furulund, Sweden. Love love love all the mix design and decor. What do you think?

(images via 1kindesign.com)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Regrets..

Hi there, I am back here and feel much better. Thank you for those of you who had leave message here for me. So, yesterday when I was alone in my bedroom and doing nothing, I browse along on twittter and stumbled upon a tweet from Paulo Coelho (@paulocoelho). his tweet was about something on his blog. It's an interesting topic that has made me dig further on his blog. On his blog, he had this posting wrote by Bronnie Ware about regrets. It's about those five common regrets most people always admit. Below is the list, hope you like it =)


When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

(article source: Paulo Coelho from Bonnie Ware - Image source: favim.com)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Flu...

Hi everyone, sorry for the lack of postings lately. I've had this heavy flu since about few days ago. It feels like I'm having a good connection with my bed =( couldn't leave my b ed...but thank God I feel better today, that's why I m now able to make this short posting =) Hopefully by tomorrow the flu will be gone and I'll be as good as before. Hope you are all doing well.

(image source: favim)

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Hugging..


Hugging is the simplest but the most powerful things we can do to other people. Don't you love being hug by the one you love and knowing that the hug is not just a hug, but a sincere and warm hug. Even if the hug is only for a few second, you'll feel different afterwards. There are many types of hug such as a supporting hug, a welcoming hug, a lovers hug and many more. But for me, a hug is a hug...people will only hug those who they feel comfortable with. I don't know about you but that surely applies to me. Hugging my husband before going to bed is a must! So, what are exactly the real benefits of hugging? I found this information regarding hug benefits from Associated Content.

One of the most interesting effects of the hug is it's ability to lower blood pressure and heart rate. Of course, there are a number of medical reasons for this, and it is simply one more reason to enjoy a friendly hug. When a person is hugged, their comfort level is increased, and they enjoy being around a fellow human being. Also, the hug communicates many things to many people. A hug from a friend or family brings back happy memories and makes the huggee relive those moments. Also, if we follow social psychology, we become aware of the many benefits that result in the body and mind when we feel accepted or understood by another person. Even though one may think that a deep conversation can have these effects, the simple truth is that a hug creates those feelings of acceptance and compassion that can sometimes be difficult to find in our modern world. Thus, when we experience these things, we become more relaxed, we are happier, and our entire attitude tends to improve. As a direct result of these things, our heart rates become more relaxed and over a period of time, lower heart rates and increased time spent being happy can actually lower blood pressure and have very effective bonuses to heart health.

Another important benefit of the hug is the effect that it can on the mental state of an individual, as well as the physical. People who hug more frequently tend to be more open about their emotions and develop a greater sense of closeness and compassion to those around them. However, sometimes, it can be difficult to accept others or to realize that there are other people around us. For that reason, sometimes the simple hug can open up mental blocks with this matter, allowing an individual to feel increased feelings of happiness and even trigger a small release of dopamine. However, even though physical contact can sometimes have brain chemical effects (such as the release of dopamine mentioned before) it is not a constant. Instead, the greater benefits in this area come from the simple effect of being close to other human beings and feeling a real bond or connection between people.
(article source: associatedcontent.com - image source: favim.com)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Funny Cartoon...

Hi everyone...I'm going to start this new week by posting some funny cartoon pictures. A bit of something that can make this rainy day here in my place to be more bright =) Have a great day...


(image source: googlygooeys.com)

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Secret Room...

Finding something hiding behind closed door is really something for me. It's like finding a secret place that is really special. Not only that, but it also makes the room outside looks neat as if there's no other room behind it. Here are some of the room behind hiding door. I bet you'll not have any clue that there's actually a room behind the wall.

(image source: shelterness.com)

For a rainy day...

It's rainy season here in my country. I feel like having something warm all day long. This one is a really good option for a rainy day..."Warm Chocolate Pudding Cake". Just to hear the sound of it makes me feel warm =) Found this recipe from Crumb Blog. I think I might want to make this but without the raspberry puree, just the warm chocolate pudding.


Warm Chocolate Pudding Cake

Raspberry Puree
  • 1 cup fresh or frozen raspberries
  • 2 tbsp sugar
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
Cake
  • 1 c flour
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1/4 cup cocoa powder
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 2 Tbsp melted butter
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Topping
  • 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup cocoa powder
  • 1 cup boiling water
  • 3/4 cup milk

Directions:
  1. Preheat oven to 350F. Grease an 8×8-inch baking dish.
  2. In a small saucepan set over medium-high heat, bring the raspberries, sugar and lemon juice to a boil. Cook for 2 minutes, breaking up the berries with a wooden spoon as they cook. Pass the cooked berries through a fine-mesh strainer to remove pulp and seeds, pressing to extract as much puree as possible. Set aside to cool completely.
  3. Meanwhile, make the cake layer. Sift flour, white sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt into a large bowl. Pour in milk, melted butter, and vanilla extract, and stir until combined. (The batter will look very thick at this stage. That’s to be expected. Keep calm and carry on.)
  4. Scrape the batter into prepared baking dish, and spread it out into a more or less even layer. Spoon the raspberry puree onto the batter in large dollops.Now, prepare the topping. In a small bowl, whisk together brown sugar and cocoa powder. Sprinkle evenly onto the batter. Slowly pour in the boiling water and milk, covering the batter and topping. (Don’t panic if your cake looks like a watery mess at this point. That’s to be expected. Keep calm and carry on.)
  5. Bake in preheated oven for 40 minutes, or until the mixture has separated into a dry cake-like layer on top and a soft pudding-like layer on the bottom. Let stand for about 15 minutes before spooning out into individual serving dishes, topping each with a dollop of whipped cream and fresh berries if so desired.
Note: You can make this into individually-sized desserts by using four shallow gratin dishes or ramekins instead. Simply prepare as directed, dividing each of the layers evenly between the gratin dishes, and bake for about 30-35 minutes.

(image and recipe from crumbblog.com)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Your Jar..Your Life

Back again here with me on Tuesday morning =) How's your weekend everyone? I had a relaxing weekend, didn't have any invitations to attend so I just spend the weekend relaxing. And when I was browsing, I found this really nice story that we can ponder. It's about life, it's a professor who teaches his student about life philosophy comparing to a jar. Do you wanna know? Trust me it's worth to read =) Enjoy the story below...


Life Philosophy

A meteorology professor stood before his Meteorology 101 class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty glass mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a jar of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open spaces between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar and of course the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous yes.

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and then proceeded to pour the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the grains of sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things -- your family, your partner, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. Play another 18.

"There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

(article source: theweatherprediction.com - image source: favim.com)

Friday, November 18, 2011

Infinite Possibilities

A good quote to start the weekend and to end the working days =) Have a great weekend everyone...

When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and
their meanings, you connect with the underlying field
of infinite possibilities.
- Deepak Chopra -

(image source:

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Inspiring..

It's always feel good when you can see or watch something inspiring. I love seeing things that can touch us emotionally. There are many advertisements or commercials that deliver message that touches our heart. These are one of those commercials that I meant. Really are touching commercials.



Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Balanced Relationship


Balancing something is not always an easy thing to do. I found this article called "10 ways to maintain a balanced relationship" by Katarina Kovacevic from Lovingyou. Below are tips from experts about how to make a balance relationship. We know that we always have to keep the sparks alive with our partner, and that's not magic..we need to make it work. My fave tips is this one:

"Become unbeatable together. Stay strong together under any circumstance and be each other's rock. You are each other's best friend, lover and confidant. Be loyal to one another and don't let anyone talk bad about your partner."

So, what are the rest of the tips? Here you go...

10 ways to maintain a balanced relationship

Dr. Karen Sherman is a relationship psychologist specializing in premarital, on-going and married relationships and she's got this advice to offer couples:

"Make sure you know the skills to have a healthy conflict," she said. "When a couple is able to do this, they can actually have a more intimate relationship." So an argument from time to time can actually be good for a couple. Just don't hit below the belt!

"Never humiliate your partner publicly or throw something back in his or her face that has been offered to you as something private. These can be more a breach to your relationship than an actual affair." Lesson: what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Learn how to keep some elements of your relationship private.

"Do not expect your mate to fulfill all of your needs and take time to understand how your partner's needs are met through words and actions." The "you complete me" scene in Jerry Maguire may have had you sobbing like a sucker but learn how to take care of your own needs and nurture your partners – but don't live for them.

Best-selling author Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil was named by New York Magazine as one of the city's top therapists. She prides herself on saving couples from all types of relationship peril, even adultery, and has a 98 percent success rate for saving relationships. Her tips include:

"Give verbal aphrodisiacs daily to your partner," she said. "Tell them they look good, that you loved the dinner they cooked." Who knew foreplay and wordplay went together so well?

"Try to go to bed at the same time every night," she said. "Even if one of you has to get up later for work."

Ladies and gentlemen, it should come as no surprise. Sex is just as important as communication. Thank you, Dr Weil! "Make sex a priority," she said. "Schedule it in. Take turns developing a sexual adventure for your partner. Use sex as a stress buster!"
Susan Barnes is a relationship expert who has appeared on numerous TV and radio shows across the country including Everyday with Rachael Ray and Playboy radio. She specializes in teaching people the art of spiritual romance. She's got this to offer couples"

"Put your partner first," said Barnes. "Put yourself in their shoes and try to think what it's like to be them before making any judgments. Most importantly, trust them." So, the next time you want to go out and party with the girls instead of following through with your set dinner plans, try to think how you'd feel if the tables were turned.

According to Barnes, the language of love comes in many different forms. "There is a fine line between being honest and being cruel. Be honest with kindness and use soft language, don't be brutal." So the next time you're ready to explode, take a step back and reconsider your approach. "And every night before you go to bed, tell your partner seven things that you are grateful for in your relationship."

"Become unbeatable together. Stay strong together under any circumstance and be each other's rock. You are each other's best friend, lover and confidant. Be loyal to one another and don't let anyone talk bad about your partner."

We've always heard it's important to pick your battles and Barnes definitely agrees. "Stop criticizing and complaining to your partner. If you have complaints try writing them down in a notebook and read them later. You'll be surprised how petty they really are.

(article source: lovingyou.com - image sources: favim, favim, chriscraymer.com)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Stunning Apartment

This is such a stunning apartment in Stockholm, I found this via 1 Kind Design. I love seeing such a pretty rooftop. I can imagine myself (if I'm having one) that I will surely spend every morning and every evening relaxing at the rooftop. I wish someday I can have a place with a open rooftop. Lovely! The rooftop of course what attracts me seeing the rest of this apartment but when you have a look inside, you'll surely love what's inside too. The decor is a mix of contemporary and traditional, simple yet it also brings you the warmth of the lovely home =)
(all images via 1kindesign)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Random Images

Today, I just feel like posting some random good images to make my mind at ease and to create happy thoughts.

(image sources: favim, tumblr, tumblr, tumblr, tumblr)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Emperor and The Seed

This is a nice short story that can teach us a lesson. Always be honest to yourself and to others. All the truth you have will bring good things back to you. The story is called "The Emperor and The Seed". Hope you like it =)


"The Emperor and The Seed"

An emperor in the Far East was growing old and knew it was time to choose his successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or his children, he decided something different. He called young people in the kingdom together one day. He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next emperor.

I have decided to choose one of you." The kids were shocked! But the emperor continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today. One very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next emperor!" One boy named Ling was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his mother the story. She helped him get a pot and planting soil, and he planted the seed and watered it carefully. Every day he would water it and watch to see if it had grown.

After about three weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Ling kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks went by. Still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants but Ling didn't have a plant, and he felt like a failure. Six months went by-still nothing in Ling's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Ling didn't say anything to his friends, however. He just kept waiting for his seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling told his mother that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But honest about what happened, Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his mother was right. He took his empty pot to the palace. When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other youths. They were beautiful-in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kinds laughed at him.

A few felt sorry for him and just said, "Hey nice try." When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the emperor. "Today, one of you will be appointed the next emperor!" All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered his guards to bring him to the front. Ling was terrified. "The emperor knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!"

When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name. "My name is Ling," he replied. All the kids were laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down. He looked at Ling, and then announced to the crowd, "Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!" Ling couldn't believe it. Ling couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor? Then the emperor said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds which would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!"

(story source: islamcan.com - image source: favim)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Distorted Thinking

What do you think about distorted thinking? The thoughts that have been distorted and those thoughts are not supposed to create certain thinking come out from your brain. Do you think it's bad? I found this great descriptions about distorted thinking from Eastern Washington University site. The list is quite long but it's worth to read. It makes me aware of those distortions I've never thought before. This is one of those guides that you can read over and over.


15 Styles of Distorted Thinking

  1. Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them, while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. A single detail may be picked out, and the whole event becomes colored by this detail. When you pull negative things out of context, isolated from all the good experiences around you, you make them larger and more awful than they really are.
  2. Polarized Thinking: The hallmark of this distortion is an insistence on dichotomous choices. Things are black or white, good or bad. You tend to perceive everything at the extremes, with very little room for a middle ground. The greatest danger in polarized thinking is its impact on how you judge yourself. For example-You have to be perfect or you're a failure.
  3. Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. 'Always' and 'never' are cues that this style of thinking is being utilized. This distortion can lead to a restricted life, as you avoid future failures based on the single incident or event.
  4. Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you. Mind reading depends on a process called projection. You imagine that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way you do. Therefore, you don't watch or listen carefully enough to notice that they are actually different. Mind readers jump to conclusions that are true for them, without checking whether they are true for the other person.
  5. Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start "what if's." What if that happens to me? What if tragedy strikes? There are no limits to a really fertile catastrophic imagination. An underlying catalyst for this style of thinking is that you do not trust in yourself and your capacity to adapt to change.
  6. Personalization: This is the tendency to relate everything around you to yourself. For example, thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who's smarter, better looking, etc. The underlying assumption is that your worth is in question. You are therefore continually forced to test your value as a person by measuring yourself against others. If you come out better, you get a moment's relief. If you come up short, you feel diminished. The basic thinking error is that you interpret each experience, each conversation, each look as a clue to your worth and value.
  7. Control Fallacies: There are two ways you can distort your sense of power and control. If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you. Feeling externally controlled keeps you stuck. You don't believe you can really affect the basic shape of your life, let alone make any difference in the world. The truth of the matter is that we are constantly making decisions, and that every decision affects our lives. On the other hand, the fallacy of internal control leaves you exhausted as you attempt to fill the needs of everyone around you, and feel responsible in doing so (and guilty when you cannot).
  8. Fallacy of Fairness: You feel resentful because you think you know what's fair, but other people won't agree with you. Fairness is so conveniently defined, so temptingly self-serving, that each person gets locked into his or her own point of view. It is tempting to make assumptions about how things would change if people were only fair or really valued you. But the other person hardly ever sees it that way, and you end up causing yourself a lot of pain and an ever-growing resentment.
  9. Blaming: You hold other people responsible for your pain, or take the other tack and blame yourself for every problem. Blaming often involves making someone else responsible for choices and decisions that are actually our own responsibility. In blame systems, you deny your right (and responsibility) to assert your needs, say no, or go elsewhere for what you want.
  10. Shoulds: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you, and you feel guilty if you violate the rules. The rules are right and indisputable and, as a result, you are often in the position of judging and finding fault (in yourself and in others). Cue words indicating the presence of this distortion are should, ought, and must.
  11. Emotional Reasoning: You believe that what you feel must be true-automatically. If you feel stupid or boring, then you must be stupid and boring. If you feel guilty, then you must have done something wrong. The problem with emotional reasoning is that our emotions interact and correlate with our thinking process. Therefore, if you have distorted thoughts and beliefs, your emotions will reflect these distortions.
  12. Fallacy of Change: You expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because your hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them. The truth is the only person you can really control or have much hope of changing is yourself. The underlying assumption of this thinking style is that your happiness depends on the actions of others. Your happiness actually depends on the thousands of large and small choices you make in your life.
  13. Global Labeling: You generalize one or two qualities (in yourself or others) into a negative global judgment. Global labeling ignores all contrary evidence, creating a view of the world that can be stereotyped and one-dimensional. Labeling yourself can have a negative and insidious impact upon your self-esteem; while labeling others can lead to snap-judgments, relationship problems, and prejudice.
  14. Being Right: You feel continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness. Having to be 'right' often makes you hard of hearing. You aren't interested in the possible veracity of a differing opinion, only in defending your own. Being right becomes more important than an honest and caring relationship.
  15. Heaven's Reward Fallacy: You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You fell bitter when the reward doesn't come as expected. The problem is that while you are always doing the 'right thing,' if your heart really isn't in it, you are physically and emotionally depleting yourself.
(article source: access.ewu.edu- image source: favim.com)

Friday, November 4, 2011

I am loving with this wall quote! It's the House Rules. Simple stuffs that we all know are all important. For example, it's written on the wall that we have to:

"Laugh A Lot"
"Be Respectful"

Don't you think those are the nicest statements? It's really an inspiring thing for an interior design in our house. I love displaying good and encouraging quotes that we can always see in our house every time =)

(image found via piccsy.com)