Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Put The Past Behind

What do you all think about our past when it comes to creating a new relationship? Many people find it hard to let go of their own past relationship or maybe their partner's past relationship. A friend of mine had a problem of letting go of the past of her partner's relationship. She asked me how can she let go of the past, the past is haunting her like crazy. And then I told her not to even think about the past. We live in the present moment, why bother with our partner's past relationship when he himself doesn't care about his own past relationship. I think it's a good thing that when our partner's lips and thought of his past relationship are sealed. I personally think it's better not knowing anything about his past relationship with someone rather than knowing the whole stories that can drive me crazy thinking about it. Take a simple conclusion, now..this very moment..who's beside your partner? You or somebody else? If the answer is you, then you should not worry about anything in the world =)

What do you think? Maybe a piece of advice from the oh-so-famous Dr. Phil can save my friend and maybe can save those of you who are still find it hard to deal with your partner's past.

Dealing With Your Partner's Past

Many couples face the problem of dealing with each other's past relationships and activities. How can you resolve your feelings?

Here's what Dr. Phil has to say:

  • Look at your own past. Do you really have a right to judge your partner's past?
  • Your inability to get beyond your partner's past is your problem. Your partner didn't necessarily do anything to you. It's your decision if you can get beyond the past.
  • Realize that your partner was not born the day you started dating him/her. No one has a totally clean slate.
  • Accept your partner for who he/she is -- both the good and the bad. Use that acceptance to create a bond that holds your relationship together.
  • If you or your partner allow your past to define either one of you, you are living up to a label, not your personal truth.
  • If you're being judged, tell your partner: "You can either trust me or not — but get off my back!"
  • Don't hang on to bad feelings from a past relationship. They will only infect your current relationship.
  • Define a new standard for the relationship. Commit to it together, and make a new plan for your life together.
  • Everything you do in a relationship either contributes to it or contaminates it. What is focusing on the past doing?
(article via - image via: favim)