Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Ten Simple Things We Should All Say More Often

These are 10 simple things that we should say more often to other people. Look up whether you have said one of these words today. These words I believe can brighten someone's day. But the most important thing is to try to say these words using your feeling and your heart. Say it like you really mean it. Try to put aside your ego and say this word trully. And you will be able to see what's the impact of this for the one you say it to. Such a simple word but really has great positive impact for other people's mood.

“Hello.” How often do you sit silently next to someone on a train, or in a waiting room? How often do you stand tapping your foot in a line at the post office or bank? Just saying a simple “Hello” or “Hi” to the person next to you, and offering them a smile, could give you an instant mood-boost. And you might even get into a conversation to pass the time while you’re waiting.

Thank you.” It’s hard to say “thank you” too often. Even when you feel someone’s performing a service that they should do by the nature of their job, thanking them will make both of you feel good. How about saying “thank you” to your employees or subordinates when they carry out a task for you, “thank you” to the girl at the checkout when she packs your bags for you, “thank you” to the waiter who brings your meals… Those two small words of gratitude can mean a lot.

“Please.” A word which we often associate with “thank you”, perhaps because we were taught to say both as young children, is “please”. Using this little word turns a demand into a request – and makes people much happier about fulfilling it. When you queue up for a coffee at Starbucks, don’t just bark “Venti Mocha Frappuccino” at the barista – add a “please”. When asking your partner to pass the salt at dinner, put in that “please”. It doesn’t just set a great example for your kids, it sets a tone of politeness and mutual respect.

“Here, take my seat.” Most of us are lucky enough to be fairly able-bodied and can easily stand on trains and buses without risking falling over. If you see someone elderly, pregnant or struggling in any way (perhaps a mother with a small child), offer them your seat. If you’re worried you’ll accidentally offend them, add a “I’m getting off soon” or something slightly jokey like “I could do with stretching my legs.”

"This one’s on me.” Out for drinks with a friend or acquaintance? Rather than insisting on splitting the bill straight down the middle, offer to buy for both of you. It’s nice to feel generous, and to feel that you’re receiving a gift – and your friend can reciprocate next time, if s/he wants. A note of caution: if you are a lot better off financially than your drinking partner, be sensitive about this.

Let me help you with that.” If you see someone struggling, offer to help. They may rebuff you, but most people will be touched and grateful – you’ll get to make their day a little bit easier, which will put a dash of joy into yours. You might offer to help someone who’s:
Struggling with getting a wheelchair up or down steps
Lifting heavy luggage onto a train
Carrying an overladen tray across a café
Having difficulties reading a notice or leaflet
Keep an eye out for other situations where you can make yourself useful!

“I don’t think we’ve met. I’m [name].” Many of us aren’t great at introducing ourselves. If you meet someone new, don’t just mumble about the weather or say nothing but “hi”; tell them your name, and ask theirs. It’s awkward to talk to someone for ten minutes before having to say “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” so be confident and upfront when meeting new people.

“What I’m really passionate about is…” So often, conversations revolve around matters of little consequence to both the speaker and the listener. If you feel that most of what you say is just small talk, try going deeper. Obviously, this doesn’t mean boring the person next to you on the bus with your entire life story – but when you’re getting to know someone, share some of your hobbies and interests, or tell them about your big life plans. You never know, you might have found a kindred spirit.

“Have a great day!” Although phrases like “have a nice day” can be overused by shopworkers and telesales staff, it’s still worth wishing people a good day, evening or weekend when you part. Speak with genuine enthusiasm, and you’ll almost certainly get a smile and a “thanks, you too!” in response – a great way to end a conversation on a high note.

“I love you.” Lastly, those three most important words; “I love you.” Do you say these enough to the people who you love? Don’t just think about your partner here – how about your kids, your parents, your grandma? It’s easy to assume that people “just know” we love them, but sometimes hearing those little words can really make someone’s day.

(source from here)


Anonymous said...

Ooh I like this....well I know today I did say Hello, thank you, and please for sure. In fact I said Thank you so many times. :)

boya arsila said...

I love to say "Have a great day" to everyone to start their day..Just to give them some kind of a morning wish=)

Anonymous said...

You know, when I lived in Montreal, people would not even look each other in the eye, it's as though they instantly hated each was a weird thing, in hindsight, but I got used to it. When I moved to the mountains, EVERYONE says hello, bonjour or just smiles and nods. It's a completely different atmosphere and it took some getting used to!

boya arsila said...

Was it like that Rain? I thought Montreal is full of charming and friendly people. But, you're very lucky to be in the place where you are now=)

Anonymous said...

OMG Rain I totally know what your where my Dad lives, in the country, everyone is sooooooo nice. Driving down the neighborhood roads, everyone waves hello or if not they acknowledge you with a big smile. Such a different environment than Los Angeles. Ugh the people in my city are so stuck up and rude its annoying. And to top it off I work where all of them shop EVERYDAY!!

Erica said...

this is really lovely-- if only everyone in the world would read this! i know that i, for one, will do my part :) thanks so much for sharing xx

boya arsila said...

Hi Erica...I guess if everyone does his/her part and always pay it forward to other people..our world will be a heaven on earth..full on nice people=)

Jen of MadeByGirl said...

LOVED this post!

Jen Ramos
'Cards & Prints You'll Love...'

boya arsila said...

Thank you Jennifer=)

Anonymous said...

Well, I can only speak for the downtown Montreal crowd. If you're a tourist, you're treated well. But I lived in a 32-floor highrise for a long time, and you'd go into a full elevator, see the same people all the time and everyone ignored the other. There is a very touchy climate of French vs. English, in some areas (like the downtown area), it's more apparent. It's sad though, but that was my experience.

boya arsila said...

I think it's because of the effect of the big city ambiance..people tend to be more individualistic therefore the society becomes individualistic too...But you are lucky to be where you are now Rain..

Anonymous said...

Yes, a friend made a comment once that was really fascinating. Anonymity in the city. It's a little contradictory isn't it? A million people and you don't know any of them. But in the country, eveyone know the other...some are a little too nosy though! Ha ha.

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