Monday, March 16, 2009

Noon jokes...

Things We Learned at the Movies. Funny=)

  • It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
  • Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
  • Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.
  • Most dogs are immortal.
  • Larry King plays himself.
  • You can stop a runaway car by crashing it into a wall at the bottom of a long hill, but not at the top.
  • The most unstable object in creation is a roadside fruit seller's cart.
  • If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
  • When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
  • Light level is not a reliable gauge of whether it's night outside. You have to judge by the cricket noises.
  • Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always find a new one lying around the next time you need one.
  • Give a man one gun and he's Superman. Give him two, and he's God.
  • No one ever aims at the legs of a monster that's chasing them. They just keep running away, pausing every now and then to pump bullets into its torso, until it
    overtakes and kills them.
  • No matter how dead you think you've killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least three more times.
  • Cats are spring-loaded, and are most commonly found inside closets or cabinets which are equipped with doors that can't be operated by cats.
  • The strongest force governing human survival is the possession of a name.
  • It is possible to use a helicopter to sneak up on someone.
  • A monster can always sneak up on you, no matter how big or clumsy it is.
  • It's easy to walk through an unfamiliar forest on a moonless night.
  • A leap from a hotel roof is completely safe as long as you can land in the pool.

(source from here - images from justbeplendid)

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