Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Things We Learned from the Movies

I came across this funny list on the web about "Things We Learned at the Movies"

  1. If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.
  2. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
  3. Natural disasters only occur after the local mayor scoffs at the possibility.
  4. If an expert makes a prediction and is disbelieved, then it will come to pass exactly as he predicted. If he makes a prediction and is believed, it won't happen.
  5. Women staying in a haunted house should investigate any strange noises while wearing their most revealing underwear.
  6. Women's skin and hair can't be damaged by natural disasters, though their clothing can be shredded -- except for the bits required for minimal decency, which are made from completely indestructible fabric.
  7. If a man and a woman are exposed to the same conditions and the same environment, the man will need to wear more clothing than the woman.
  8. If a man and a woman meet under circumstances under which any two normal people would instantly hate each other, they will marry before the picture is over.
  9. Deadly reptiles will always attack a woman first, even if she's in the presence of thirty men.
  10. Women are immortal unless they take off their shirts or they're ugly

  11. If a woman takes a bath, bubbles will cover the naughty bits. If she takes a shower and reveals her naughty bits, she will die.
  12. If a blonde and a brunette are in equal peril, the brunette will die.
  13. White characters have the best survival rate.
  14. High class strippers with a heart of gold can will, if the plot demands it, turn out to have specialized technical skills and abilities.
  15. Most human action is initiated by shy loners.
  16. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
  17. It's easy to pull the pin on a grenade with your teeth.
  18. An explosive device capable of leveling a large office building will fit inside a toolbox or small backpack.
  19. Potentially fatal attacks are always preceded by a false alarm a few seconds earlier.
  20. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -- unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

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